i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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