you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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