Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He did a backflip because drugs
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
