He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
