he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize