I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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