i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Buhtt sex?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
