K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
