Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He better not be in your backpack
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
