I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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