i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
