i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
