Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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