how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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