We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
