i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
