i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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