i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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