I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
