:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
