Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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