I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
