The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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