i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
