she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
