What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
