If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
