I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
After tacos, we're chasing women.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
