hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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