Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
