We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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