if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
