Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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