nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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