Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
