Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
