Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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