You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
