I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
