Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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