alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
