Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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