:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
