I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
