Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
