so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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