you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
