Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
