ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
