who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
tell your sister to shave her snatch
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
